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By TANYA ELLIS
Why is it that whenever one speaks of the BLACK family, they always speak as though the BLACK man is wholly responsible for our grievances. Whilst he bares a great deal of the responsibility, I suggest that a great number of our women do us a great disservice.
We will always be able to outsource blame when it comes to the historical malfeasance of BLACK PEOPLE, however we make quite a few poor decisions that affect us and the generation to come.
My issue is unplanned pregnancies that result in children that are born with a deficit, and that is a FATHER. The man many times really is not to blame for this, because as women we are supposed to be extremely selective in terms of whom we court, and there should be a courtship. We should know almost everything about the man, his family, and when possible, should have met and gotten to know this family way before even considering the idea of having a child for him. If possible there should be marriage. If that’s not possible, then neither should having his child be. Call me old-fashioned, but our newfound approach to family isn’t making better lives for our children.
Many of our sisters, especially those from the Inner Cities, are the products of single family homes. One would expect that the issues you may have had because of lack of proper planning by your mother you would not want to emulate. However it’s so much easier to continue a failed cycle than it is to do everything possible to see that this cycle comes to an end with you. That would take true character and fortitude and more often than not, we are just not willing to do the more difficult thing short term to have a good life long term. Our decisions are too-often bad short term decisions that we will live with forever.
BLACK women must stop having children that they cannot adequately provide for. All children deserve a chance and if feeding, clothing and educating them is challenging then I surmise there will be no after school activities, no summer camp, no tutors if necessary, which ultimately deprives the child of any chance for success.
If childbearing were as important as child education, BLACK people would be world beaters today. Instead, we are not advancing at the same rate as our contemporaries, and lack of opportunity is no longer a viable excuse, because more often than not WE create our opportunities.
I am a PROUD BLACK WOMAN, and it pains me to see my sisters letting themselves down. We must reprioritize, with hard work, focus, dedication, education, and self-respect above all.
If you do not love yourself and respect yourself and body why should anyone else? I would love for us as BLACK women to take time to teach the young ladies up and coming, to be ladies, to see every BLACK woman as a sister, and truly work on this issue together as a community. It can be done. We simply need to organize.
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